Wanting to meet an author because you like what they write is like wanting to meet a duck because you like paté.
I recently came across the above quotation by Margaret Atwood and I share the sentiment. I’ve never had a urge to meet any of the authors, actors or public figures I hold in high esteem. I’m always afraid their reality won’t match my fantasy and my fantasy will falter. Since there’s no chance I’m ever going to have any sort of personal relationship with any of these people, I’d just as soon hang on to the fantasy.
I remember when Burt Reynolds was divorcing Loni Anderson back in the early nineties. At the time, he was starring in Evening Shade, a great television show in which he appeared as a charming, attractive, convivial middle-aged man. Gone was his cocky, youthful playboy persona and this character was a pleasure to watch. Unfortunately the real man was completely unable to keep his mouth shut regarding his private life and a lot of really ugly comments he was busy making about his soon-to-be ex came to light. It was so nasty I was unable to watch the show any longer.
Sarah Ban Breathnach relates how when she went she out on tour to promote her wonderful book Simple Abundance, many of her fans were disappointed by the real her. They’d built up their own image of an earth mother-type woman in long skirts and Earth shoes and the reality of her Manolo Blahniks and pencil skirts took many of them aback. “You’re not my Sarah”, one of her fans said to her in dismay. It’s funny but true, we create an image of the people we come into “virtual” contact with and the reality doesn’t always measure up.
Yesterday I read an entertainment blurb on yet another ugly outburst by Mel Gibson, this one directed at an ex-girlfriend. He was such a cutie. I loved him in all the Mad Max movies and the Lethal Weapons. I was impressed with his work in Braveheart, The Man Without a Face and The Year of Living Dangerously. I’ve always been a fan. Now I doubt I’ll watch anything he’s involved with again. In the same way I can’t watch a Heath Ledger movie without being sad, I won’t be able to watch Gibson without being disgusted.
I’m not a sports fan but that world abounds with examples of accomplished athletes who turn out to be not very good people. Tiger Woods is only the latest example.
I don’t want to know anything bad about the people whose work I enjoy. I don’t want to know that, a la Jack Nicholson in As Good As It Gets, my favorite author is a jerk or that my favorite movie star is a wife-beating drunk. The allure of autographs completely escapes me. I’d rather keep my distance and keep my fantasies intact.
Do you want to meet the people whose work you hold in high esteem? What do you get out of it? If you have met any of them, did they measure up?
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12 comments:
ooh, interesting! I totally agreed with you until I remembered a recent favorite author of mine, John Green. He does these delightful video blogs with his brother every week and I actually was a huge fan of him before I even read a book. He seems like a genuinely kind and funny person, and whenever I read his books I actually enjoy it a bit more because I hear the book being "read" in his voice, if that makes any sense. Of course, if he were a jerk, he probably wouldn't have a massively popular video blog and I wouldn't have ever known about him in the first place, as his books are more YA (but still excellent!) so I wouldn't have stumbled across them in the library. In general, I love hearing that actors or famous people are good people, and it makes me like them even more. If only you could know whether the person is a creep or a nice guy before you ruin your fantasy! haha
(Sorry for the novella...)
I do agree with you there Leah. I hear Hugh Jackman is a truly nice person and I've heard that about Patrick Dempsey and Will Smith too. It does make me like them more!
I met Tennessee Williams at a premier of one of his plays in the late 70's. What I remember most is that he was disheveled, his zipper was down, and he seemed in a fog - you couldn't help but feel sorry for him.
As for Mel, I'm taking the claims of hitting the woman with a grain of salt until there's evidence. Seems fishy that she's only now claiming injury that supposedly took place last winter. However, the verbal outbursts knocked him off his pedestal, for me. I'll still watch his movies, though. I'm with you, I loved the Year of Living Dangerously, Mrs. Soffel, The Man Without a Face, Tim, and the last one he just released (can't remember the name of it).
I felt the same disgust at Alec Baldwin after his tirade against his daughter and boycotted him for a long time. Then I saw It's Complicated at the movies with a friend and we've never laughed so much in a theatre. I felt very conflicted afterward! So I admit I'll probably watch Mel again.
The honeymoon is over though. But hitting a woman? I don't buy it...yet. Hope it's not true.
This whole Mel Gibson thing is nauseating. But then, I stopped watching anything he was in several years ago, nauseated at that time by certain revelations.
The latest is even worse.
As for Atwood (a writer I much admire - and love her poetry) - I agree with her. On the other hand, why not let reprehensible words or behavior bear some public consequence for a public figure - no matter how minuscule?
There's a great rant on the Mel Gibson issue, but also very measured, at DivorcedWomenOnline.com. Written over the weekend I think. You should check it out.
This seems sad to me in a way. They may be our fantasies, but in reality they're just people like you and me. It's through no fault of their own, that people put them on a pedestal and expect them to be something bigger than life, or even worse...perfect. Come on, all people are nice sometimes, or when it suits them, and even serial-killers have been known to be charming individuals who have the capability of luring people into trusting them. If everything I ever said were put into print...or God forbid, things I have spoken out of anger were out there for public scrutiny, I seriously doubt I'd have any admirers at all. I say it's time we all do a little growing up and realize that all people are imperfect, fallible human beings. I watch or read, these people do what they get paid to do...act, or write. One last thought...having lots of money and being in a glass bubble might cause everyone to be uglier than they might otherwise be.
hm..i've been lucky with running into famous people thoughout my life.
I've played cards with Tom Selleck in Las Vegas in the 90's...(he invited us to b-fast but the hubby declined because he was winning at the time- can you believe that????)
Skied with John Cougar Mellencamp in his hometown in Indiana in the 80's...met on the slope after he flattened me like a pancake on accident (kind of helped that I went to school with one of his nieces)
Had dinner with R.L. Stein in CA when I won a contest at a book convention back in 1999...(extremely interesting man)
Met Christian Slater in my hometown when he was filming a movie here...at the time I was not a fan but after spending a little time with the guy he turned out to be a great guy
All in all I have to say that each and every one of them was much more than expected. But I am not a 'groupie' for anyone so maybe that is why I wasn't let down.
Just got a book signed by Peter S. Beagle. While I was quietly panicking (which is what I do with famous authors whose works I love) and filling out credit card info on the signed copy I was buying, he had a lovely conversation with my husband about our adorable son and children in general.
Esther Friesner was also a treat and didn't seem to mind my fangirl awkwardness.
I met Emma Bull before reading any of her work so didn't have my usual problem, but she was nice and interesting too, as was her husband Wil Shetterly.
Though John DeChancie was sort of a jerk.
After famous people die all sorts of "truths" about their lives get revealed. E M Forster, for instance, was revealed to be gay, and his gay novel (Maurice) was posthumously published. I don't think I have much trouble keeping the art separated from the person.
Although I never liked Margaret Atwood's work, I agree with the quote from her you start with. Nevertheless, I think I would have liked to meet Carol Shields, whose word I admire, just to know what she is actually like. (Though I think just meeting someone doesn't really tell you much, and publicity about celebrities tells you even less.)
I envy the anonymous person who met Peter Beagle.
I recently wrote a post about my meeting with Margaret Mead. I found that meeting interesting.
I couldn't agree more. What would it be like to meet an idol? Would they hold true to what you've always thought of them? It seems funny to me that we get so upset when things don't work out for entertainment figures in their personal lives but they are regular people too. Maybe that's the problem! We need a special breed of human that entertains us and can't dissapoint. Ha!
When it comes to authors, I allow myself to like their work even if I'm pretty sure I'd dislike them in person. I came to this conclusion after stepping over the inert, drunken body of one of my favorite Science Fiction writers in the hotel hallway during a Science Fiction convention. I'd met him earlier when he was only marginally more sober, hitting on every woman in the room, never mind that he was married. But his books? Still wonderful.
Really fantasy is better....
Thank you for the post...
Thank you again...
I still like Mel Gibson, but look at those recordings, where he yelled at his ex-gf, do you really believe that she didn't behave in an ugly manner herself?
If you listen to those recordings,he starts off railing from the get-go, usually arguments don't start off in a psychotic manner.
She also seems very calm, like she was waiting for it, come on if this was you or me, or anyone else, we'd be yelling back at Mel. IMO she probably irritated him one day, then got out her recorder and called him back or he called her back and then got him on tape.
Usually gold diggers target very wealthy men. Yea he acts like a jerk sometimes, you just don't normally see her act like a witch in public. She found a way to humiliate him.
The thing is we shouldn't idealize anyone, I enjoy peoples work, but I don't want to worship them. I like Britney Spears music but I wouldn't be friends with her in real life. She's too much drama.
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