How to Save Your Own Life: A Review

All of us who have children know that there are lessons they have to learn for themselves. We wish we could tell them and save them the pain and suffering but if we try, they won’t listen. Such may be the lessons in Michael Gates Gill’s little gem of a book, How to Save Your Own Life: 15 Lessons on Finding Hope in Unexpected Places . Although the lessons he is trying to teach are not new to him, they are powerful, inspiring lessons, nonetheless.

I don’t know if it is possible to tell someone who works a fifty plus hour week and then spends all their “free” time over scheduled and running from place to place that if they’ll just slow down life will be better. Mr. Gill was a high-powered ad executive from a very well-to-do family who had, by his own admission, been given everything and accepted it as his due.

“I expected the world to hand me everything…and then I thought I had done everything required by thanking the world politely for being so understanding.”

In very short order he was fired from his job, went through a divorce and was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Like so many of us, he was forced to slow down. Through his metamorphosis, Mr. Gill discovered the joy of living a simpler life at a slower pace.

“I had come to see that there was a kind of joy in serving others that was not possible when you were trying to control others.”

The gift of time, even when forced upon us is a thing of beauty and Mr. Gill is trying to help us by sharing the message. Are these lessons we can be told or are they ones we must figure out on our own? Gill’s first book, How Starbucks Saved My Life was a New York Times bestseller so clearly people are ready for the message.

If you are a follower of mine you know that this is the lifestyle that I have been striving to achieve. In me Gill is “preaching to the choir”. I loved this book so much it’s difficult not to gush about it. I found it inspiring and uplifting. He has an important tale to share with us, which he does masterfully through gentle stories and numerous quotations divided into fifteen “lessons”.

Lesson 1 deals with both sharing your troubles and listening to others who need to talk about a problem. This chapter is headed with an English proverb, “a problem shared is a problem halved”. Gill is not advocating that we unload on everyone else at every opportunity. Rather that if we are faced with a problem, we should find someone with whom to share it and should ourselves be open to sharing the problems of others.

“A tragedy shared becomes less of a trauma and more of a way to experience a new and deeper emotion that can lead to a better way to live.”

Lesson 2 deals with finding happiness. Gill urges us to stop a moment and ask ourselves if we are really happy with our lives and our jobs. If the answer is no, he urges us to make some big changes. You know that off-repeated quote about how, at their deathbed, no one ever wished they’d spent more time at work? Don’t leave it too late!

“I believe that a unique road to happiness is given to each of us, special for each person – we just have to listen to our hearts to follow.”

Lesson 3, in a perfect follow-up to Lesson 2 tells us to take a leap of faith. Even though it’s scary, move forward!

“Move forward confidently, and your faith will help you create a better future.”

Asking for and letting ourselves be helped can be hard to do. Lesson 4 says we need to learn to do both. Helping others and receiving help from others creates some beautiful energy. Both parties benefit.

“By opening your heart to help, and by helping others, you will find a more fulfilling life and a new path to happiness.”

Lesson 5 reminds us to look with respect at every individual we see. Gill would like us to remember that every person deserves to be seen and respected as an individual. Take your blinders off, stop judging and SEE the people around you.

“Today I know that every individual I see has the potential to uplift my life.”

Lesson 6 is to learn from children. We normally teach our children; we need to also be open to learning from them. Gill uses this chapter to describe some beautiful lessons he has learned from his children.

”Stop advising your children about life for a moment and learn from them. Children often have a new approach to life that can help you find a new way to live.”

Lesson 7 – Learn from your father. This chapter is a beautiful tribute to Gill’s father, Brendan Gill, longtime writer for The New Yorker. His regard and love for his father shines through every word. Clearly Mr. Brendan Gill was a wonderful, inspirational person and this chapter makes you sorry you won’t get a chance to meet him.

“And since all parents are imperfect, don’t judge your father too harshly, but love him as a person who brought you into life and can show you new ways to live.”

Lesson 8 – Learn from your mother. As Chapter 7 was a tribute to Gill’s father, this one is a tribute to his mother. He was truly blessed.

“Remember that a mother’s hopeful, never-failing love for you is one of the greatest gifts you are given. Pass it on the best you can.”

Lesson 9 – Lose your watch (and cell phone and pda…). Our overscheduled lives are the focus of this chapter. Don’t be a clock-watcher, urges Gill, enjoy life!

Lesson 10 – Let Go and Let God.

“Your life is like the weather. You can talk about it a lot, but in the most profound way, you can never completely control it. Do the best you can and then let go and let God.”

Lesson 11 – Laugh…with New Insight. Laughter, says Gill, especially when shared with someone else, can be the best way to regain a healthy mental and emotional perspective.

Lesson 12 – Live…Each Day with Gratitude Like It May Be Your Last. Such an important lesson. Be grateful, don’t hate or be bitter. Enjoy life!

“It is important to treat every second as a gift to be grateful for and to enjoy.”

Lesson 13 – Late Bloomers – The Last of Life Can Be the Best. I don’t know if this is a universal truth but it certainly is proving to be the case for me.

“..be prepared for these next years to be the best of your life.”

Lesson 14 – Less is more. Lose All Your Stuff and Find Freedom. I hope you know this one. That big salary, new car, that big house and all the stuff in it are the anchor not the wings. As Gill says, “Somehow in recent years we have let the American Dream become defined as an aspiration for possessions. Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness do not mean the greedy desire for more stuff”.

“Liberty and independence can be granted to you at this minute by finding yourself a way to live without so much stuff.”

Lesson 15 – Love the ride and let your light shine. That says it all!

Although many people are trying to teach us these lessons, everyone’s story is unique. Michael Gates Gill has added his beautiful voice to the chorus. I hope we are listening!