Re-Evaluating the "Truths" About Ourselves

“Know thyself” is one of those maxims in which I believe. I think it’s useful and helpful and a good way to go through life. Sometimes though, we forget that we are changeable creatures and that those “truths” may be more liquid than we think. In the same way we need to periodically re-evaluate our possessions in order to determine which ones are still important to us, it’s not a bad idea to re-evaluate the truths we hold about ourselves. I recently took a little solo trip to Port Aransas, Texas, which forced me to do just that.

I don’t travel well by myself. I’ve been saying that for years and accept it as one of the truths of who I am. I accept that it’s foolish for me to spend money on hotel rooms and events that I will need to attend by myself because I accept that it’s difficult, if not impossible for me to venture forth on my own. Not the traveling, mind you, but once arrived, going out to explore and enjoy my destination on my own. I just don’t do it.

As I said in a previous post, I visited Beeville, Texas, recently to attend the gallery opening of a friend of mine. I didn’t have a clear idea in my mind of exactly where Beeville was located and was surprised to pass a sign saying that Corpus Christi was 63 miles away. All I could think of was that I could be on the beach in an hour. I was overwhelmed by the urge to just keep driving. I attended the opening and, making my excuses for ditching the post-opening plans, got back in my car and headed south.

The whole adventure was completely unlike me because, “I don’t travel well by myself”. I don’t spend money on hotels which I know I won’t be able to leave. It is what it is and I accept it and yet here I was, on an adventure by myself. I ended up in a hotel in Port Aransas on the Texas gulf coast. Still dressed up from the gallery opening I went out to the Pelican Club and had a wonderful dinner all by myself, something else I don’t do. And you know what? I didn’t fidget or pull out my iPhone twenty thousand times or wish I’d brought something to read. I didn’t feel awkward or out of place. I enjoyed the moment, the dinner and a nice glass of wine and was happy to be there.

Sunday morning I got up, drove over to the beach and spent two or three hours walking in the surf, one of my favorite activities. After enjoying that moment, I got back in my car, visited a couple of small potteries in Port Aransas and then drove over to Corpus Christi and visited the Aquarium. I walked along the little man-made Corpus Christi beach and stopped for an oyster po’ boy and a beer at one of those patios-on-the-beach type restaurants.

I drove back to Port Aransas, spent the night, got up the next morning and drove the 9 ½ hours back home. While I drove I thought about my little adventure, how much fun it had been and how freeing it was to discover that, in fact, I do travel well by myself! I thought about the reason I have always believed I don’t do the solo travel thing.

Twenty years ago I went down to the Turks and Caicos to do a little diving. The hotel in which I was staying was a U-shaped affair with one of those Caribbean-style bars in the middle. I was in my mid-twenties at the time and, after arriving at my bar-side room in the late afternoon, was literally unable to emerge and venture through that crowded bar. I ended up eating airplane peanuts for dinner. I was able to go out the next morning and meet the dive boat and do all the arranged activities but I was unable to face any unstructured solo time. I was disappointed with myself but accepted that as part of who I am.

For twenty years I neither re-evaluated nor tested my belief that I don’t travel well by myself. I never stopped and questioned that an unfortunate experience I had in my twenties might not define who I am, or at least how I travel, in my forties. Ridiculous, right? How often do we make assumptions about ourselves and then never look back and double-check their validity? How crippling some of those assumptions can be. I know I’m going to start re-examining all my personal truths. How about you? Do you have any long held beliefs about yourself that you might need to re-evaluate?

As for me, I’m going to start planning some trips!