Does Your Spending Support Your Values?

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This article is the second in a short series examining some of the concepts and ideas espoused by David Bach in his book, “Smart Couples Finish Rich”. The first examined some myths about couples and money. I have been re-reading Bach’s book, which came out in 2001 and feel the information contained therein is worth repeating. One of the areas Bach covers that really resonates with me is the idea of determining the true purpose of money in your life.

In order to ensure that your life values and your financial decisions align, it is very important that you know what your life values are. Bach advises sitting down as a couple and defining your values. This exercise may be harder than you think. It is important to differentiate between goals and values. Taking more vacations is a goal; freedom is a value. Taking the family to Disney World is a goal; focusing on a strong, close family is a value. Spirituality, health, helping others and security are values many of us share.

How many middle-aged men do you know who say they spent all their working life on the job 60-80 hours a week in order to provide for their family? How many middle-aged women do you know who say they’d willingly trade most of their material wealth for more time with their husbands? Most of the men would say they have strong family values. This is a classic example of financial decisions not aligning with life values. Being at work all the time does not align with the value of a strong family.

Unfortunately, as difficult as it may be for couples to come up with a list of values, it is easy to come up with a list of the stuff we want. Looking back over the stuff you’ve acquired throughout your life, how often do you later decide you no longer want that stuff; you need different stuff? Conversely, how often do you decide that you no longer want your set of values and that you need new ones? Bach advises, “The sooner you and your partner start putting your values first and your stuff second the sooner the two of you will start living a life that excites and empowers you both.”

Thank about that a little bit. If you hold up your purchases or your wishes to purchase against the light of your values, do they fit? Values aside, we all need to be clothed, but do we need to be clothed in expensive designer outfits? What value does that expensive outfit represent? Would that money be better spent in support of our family or our secure future or as a charitable donation in support of our value of helping others? Once you are aligned with your values, instead of having to motivate yourself to do the right things, you find yourself being pulled in the right direction by the power of your values. Stuff may be nice, but it rarely pulls us anywhere worthwhile. Only values can do that.

Figure out your needs and your wants. Take care of your needs and then check your wants against your values. I suspect this exercise will allow you to cross some of your wants off your list.

I know I’ve got some work to do in this area. What about you? Does your spending support the person you would like to be?